Heels over Head
by Shizuka Ayasato
Summary: Very loosly based off of the song "Heels Over Head" by Boys Like Girls. VERY loosely based. What if Phoenix came back to Kurain, only to discover Maya's up and left? Angst/Romance/Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy TEMPORARY HIATUS
1. Gone Without a Trace?

**A/N: So hey guys, I know I'm supposed to update Magatama Tsubasa, like, I was supposed to a LONG while ago and it's coming almost finished but I just wanted to make a 4-day late P/M Day contribution xD I'm sorry... I'll finish the chapter...And yeah, this will be a multi-chap fic. Thanks for being patient! (_Reeeeeaally _patient)**

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><p>He hadn't been here for 7 years. Not since he had been disbarred. But now he was back, with his trademark blue suit and attorney's badge proudly pinned onto his lapel, and a clean shave. The only that had changed about him was he seemed more tanned and had a more sarcastic attitude.<p>

Nonetheless, he was sure. He was sure she wouldn't care about all of that, that she would run up to him and hug him and say that she missed him, that he was an idiot, and that she loved him. And he her…

But he was wrong. He stepped off the train into the frigid cold air of the mountains and immediately knew something was wrong. Because all around him, were cold glares and she was nowhere to be seen.

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><p>Phoenix glanced around with a guarded expression. '<em>Show no weakness or they'll eat you up for dinner, Wright.' <em>

Where was she? She was Kurain's master; she should be in her office or something at this time of day right? And where was Pearls? That adorable little girl probably wasn't so little anymore.

Before he could comprehend what was even happening, said "little" girl had come up behind him and kicked him in the leg angrily.

Phoenix turned around in shocked pain only to come face to face with…Pearl Fey. "Pearls…"He said dumbfounded. She stared at him, her face hiding something.

She knew, and he knew she knew. Phoenix immediately searched her face with concern for a hint of whatever she knew. "Pearls, what's wrong? W-Where's Maya? Please…what's _wrong?_" He had to restrain himself from shaking her shoulders.

Pearl's face softened at his worry and she quietly said, "Come with me Mr. Nick…"

She walked to the Winding Way, and gazed off into the garden courtyard as he slowly followed her, heartbeat racing as he pondered what Pearl was about to tell him. Did he even want to know?

Finally, Pearl blurted out, "Mystic Maya is….um…presumed dead." She turned to look at Phoenix and found that she could only stare at his eyes, which seemed to slowly grow in size and darken.

He gave Pearl a hollow expression before putting his head in his hands and yelling, "No! Nonononononono, how could this _happen? _What do you mean 'presumed dead'? Where is she? Where's Maya?"

Pearl quivered before whispering, "We don't know where she is…She left the village one night about a year after you were disbarred Mr. Nick…She's been missing for 6 years. That's why she's _almost_ legally presumed dead. But in Kurain…she has another 14 years before she's dead to _us_. I don't think Mystic Maya has joined the spirits either."

Phoenix shook his head, his eyes wild. "No! That's not true! W-What about the packages she sends me? T-The Steel Samurai tapes! What about those?" He trailed off as watched Pearl's face remain the same. "S-She was the one that sent them to me…right?" he asked tentatively.

This time, Pearl shook her head, apologetically, "I'm sorry Mr. Nick…I sent them. Mystic Maya left a last note with instructions to send you her entire collection of Steel Samurai videos periodically and demand reviews back…I didn't know what to do with the reviews so I just filed them away in a folder."

Phoenix slapped a frustrated palm to his face. "T-that idiot! S-She told you to send me those under her name so that I…I wouldn't worry about her. W-Wouldn't worry where she w-went…Would think she was _here._ Safe, running the village…**Happy.**"

He said the last word with such sadness that Pearl felt like she wanted to cry. She's known the two were "special someones" long before they did, long before many people did actually, only to have it end like this…

Instead of crying, she gulped and corrected Phoenix, "No, Mr. Nick you're wrong again. She wasn't happy, she was lonely. She missed you…"

Phoenix bit his lip and glanced at Pearl before putting a hand on her shoulder and asking, "Then why did she leave? And not tell us where she went? Agh! I'm such an idiot, thinking that 7 years later she'd still be here with a smile on her face! I hurt her dammit and I know that!"

Phoenix slumped down on the wall and stared out at the Winding Way courtyard with a lost, empty look in his eyes.

Pearl sat down beside him and spoke softly, "Mr. Nick…I don't know where she is or exactly why she is but I _do _know that you two are special someones, just like I always said when I was 9 but, love makes you do crazy things…"

Phoenix turned to stare at Pearl, his intent gaze making her nervous. Eventually he returned to staring at the Winding Way muttering, "Ha, wonder what Apollo would think if he saw me like this right now. Trucy would look like she was about to cry and tell me that it's okay."

"…Apollo? Trucy?" Pearl asked, confused.

Phoenix had forgotten that Pearl had never met Apollo and Trucy before, and proceeded to explain to her how he had taken on Apollo as an apprentice and how Trucy was his _adopted _daughter.

Pearl was shocked at hearing that he had a daughter and by a strange chance that his apprentice and daughter were half-siblings. Brother and sister.

Phoenix shrugged it off, his vision blurry, his head and heart aching, what was he supposed to do? Go home and forget about it all? No. He wasn't going to live in the past forever, he needed to place down a future, a future with Maya but to make that future happen…

Phoenix needed to find her, wherever she went, Phoenix would track her down. He stood up abruptly, startling Pearl and to avoid seeing her expression, stared straight at the incinerator and said "Like you said Pearls, we don't know where she went but I'll find her, and when I do, I'll apologize, I'll beg, hell I'll sell my soul for her…Anything to make her come back."

Pearl looked up at him and to Phoenix's surprise, she smiled. Pearl smiling was apparently rare these days and now she gave him a happy, bright smile of gratitude that lit up her entire face and reminded him of that adorable little nine year old girl he used to know.

"Mr. Nick!" Pearl choke-hugged him, her voice filled to the brim with excitement. "Oh I knew you two were special someones! You would do ANYTHING for Mystic Maya! Even back then, you'd really do anything in your power to see her smile! You hated seeing her sad!" She squealed loudly, causing Phoenix to flinch and look around wildly in case anyone had heard their conversation. They already suspected things between him and Maya and now that he was going to look for her, he didn't need more trouble than this was worth.

"Shhh…Pearls…Quiet, I don't need the Elders coming after me with their bewitched broomsticks and spirit-demon ice!"

Pearl tilted her head to the side and squinted her eyes sceptically, "….Bewitched broomsticks Mr. Nick? The Elders aren't witches."

Phoenix winked, cheering up because of his plan to find Maya, (even though his chances were as low getting all of the Elders to accept him as Maya's lover _and _be nice to him) and replied simply, "Maybe to you they aren't, I'm pretty sure I saw one of them wave a witch wand with cherry blossoms hanging off of it."

Pearl giggled before tugging on Phoenix's sleeve and asking earnestly, "But Mr. Nick, even if you are planning to find Mystic Maya, you don't even know where she is…None of us do."

Phoenix looked grim before replying, "None of _us _maybe. I have doubts about others…"

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><p><strong>So how was it? Good? Terrible? I-shouldn't-even-be-writing? Tell me! <strong>

**And ah...it wasn't that hard explaining the Steel Samurai tapes discrepancy. (Maya sent Phoenix video tapes in AJAA) She's probably ask Pearls to send them right? If she didn't want him to go after her...**

**It was kinda hard making Phoenix call Maya an idiot. Well, he doesn't see her as one, but he thinks her _choice _is a fool's choice. That's what I meant.**

**~Shizuka S. Ayasato**


	2. Her Sister's Thoughts

**A/N: Ah...I've been busy so this chapter might not be of the best quality as it would be when I'm sane xD (Jks) But, here it is anyway~**

**Hope you enjoy chapter 2 of Heels Over Head by yours truly! (Ahaha, my best friend Tenshi got a sneak preview, not that she understands ALL of the concepts. She hasn't played the games)**

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><p>Phoenix stared straight ahead at Mia, (channelled by Pearl) not believing what she had just said. Mia claimed she knew nothing of what Maya had done in that span of one year before she disappeared or where her beloved little sister went,<p>

In fact, Mia hadn't even known that Maya had left the village at all. In fact, she had assumed the same as Phoenix, thinking that she was running the village, happy and safe.

Not that she had simply disappeared!

What Mia _did _know was that Phoenix was disbarred, that he had adopted Trucy, basically the details that everyone knew about his life during that horrid 7-year time span. Except, oddly enough, she knew nothing of Maya's side of the story.

The Master of Kurain had completely shut out her older sister in the details of her life, where'd she go, why she left…

Well, now she knew why Maya had left. She'd left of a broken heart and too much stress. Phoenix had actually started to cry when he told what he knew, that he was to blame but Mia only gently pinched his shoulder and sternly told him to dry his tears.

"No use getting upset about something Phoenix, especially when it's not your fault. Maya left of her own accord…Even if she did leave because of a broken heart, I'm sure she had other reasons that overshadowed that." she said.

Phoenix looked at her, eyes still blurry and nodded slowly, taking in a shaky breath to steady himself and whispered, "You're lying. I can tell you're lying, Chief. You're mad at me. Which is it? Is it Maya? Or getting disbarred?"

Mia bit her lip and cautiously nodded her head resignedly. "I'm sorry Phoenix, I really am. I-It's not that I'm angry at you for getting disbarred, it wasn't your fault, even though you technically _were _at fault because you presented forged evidence but you didn't know and Klavier Gavin didn't know either and-" Mia stopped and pressed a palm into her forehead, sighing.

Phoenix nodded for her to continue and eventually, she did. Mia gave him a look that vaguely resembled pity as she said, "As for Maya…Well, I am kind of mad at you for that. After I, er, _passed on, _I left you to look after her and vice-versa. To see that you didn't even contact her those past 7 years to see how she was doing…Or visit her, even _once." _ Mia crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him in familiar disapproval.

Phoenix looked at his former boss now, irritated by the fact that she didn't understand. "No, Mia, Chief, you don't _get it_! Why would I visit her when the madman that framed me and cost me my job was watching me periodically in my daily life? He'd harm or maybe even _kill –_Yes, he could've _killed _Maya- with a high status. Or he'd learn how high Maya was-_is _in my thoughts and use that against me. Blackmail, Chief, BLACKMAIL. Sound familiar?" He scowled at Mia, his face a contortion of pain and anger…at himself.

He was angry at himself, he did not fault Mia for saying those things she did, but it was true to say the least, how could he have risked Maya's life just to see her? If he was blackmailed, Kristoph could have made him do virtually anything, just for the reassurance that Maya was alive and well, if not scared.

Mia sighed, exasperated and shot back with, "You think I misunderstood, Phoenix? Maybe I did, because I'd thought all these years that you'd visit her anyway with the risk of getting killed, not to mention you'd trade her life for yours if she was in any danger of getting killed…as she has been many times before." She finished with a raised eyebrow at Phoenix.

He bit his lip and said quietly, "You know I'd do anything for her Chief… But the risk of that is too big, it's like stepping into a fire, knowing the fact you're gonna get burned, yet you are disregarding the fact."

Phoenix sat and stared at Mia, awaiting some form of response from her when her shoulders slumped resignedly. "I…I suppose you're right. I'm sorry Phoenix, I'm not thinking straight…"

She looked at the floor miserably, but Phoenix still stared. He eyed her questioningly, wondering if she had any clues, anything to help him on this near-impossible search for Maya.

Finally, he decided to just ask, "If Maya didn't confide in _you _about where she went, is there anyone else who might know? Or have some clue?"

Mia put a hand to her mouth, and closed her eyes, thinking hard before opening them abruptly and exclaiming, "Ah!"

Phoenix leaned forward anxiously to hear what she had just remembered and was surprised when Mia said, "No one. If not Pearl and I, Maya wouldn't tell anyone. But…" Mia regarded Phoenix suspiciously before sighing.

"You're looking for Maya right? You want to find her before this 7th year is over? The 8th year after you were disbarred? Your first year back with your badge?" Phoenix didn't know how Mia kept track of all of this information, but he nodded mutely.

Mia played with the magatama around her neck before hesitantly saying, "Well…There might one other thing of use to you…Maya's diary."

Phoenix's confusion got the better of him and he asked, "Maya keeps a diary?

Mia stared at him and put her hands on her hips. "How do you not know that? All those years ago, when Maya stayed with you, didn't you notice her writing in a specially decorated notebook? Didn't you ever ask her what she was writing, only to have her ignore you and continue writing?"

Phoenix's mind flashed back to chilly day in November, when he'd seen her sitting on the couch and not watching TV for once. He was so surprised he just _had _to know what she was doing…

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><p>"<em>H-Huh? Maya? You're not watching the Steel Samurai or something?"<em>

"…_..Nope."_

"_Well then, what are you doing…?"_

"_Just writing…Nothing special."_

"_Well, what are you writing?"_

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><p>He remembered now. That notebook… He had sat down beside her and asked her what she was writing. She looked up with a start and stared blankly at him, then held it up to show him the cover. "Maya's Diary" it had said in purple glitter.<p>

"It's a diary Nick! You don't just ask a girl what they're writing in their diary!" she smiled and laughed when she'd said that. Phoenix smiled bitterly. Would he ever see that cheerful smile again? Would he ever hear her angelic laugh once more?

He quickly cleared such acidic thoughts from his mind and nodded at Mia, indicating he remembered said diary.

Mia smiled at him and said, "Pearl said Maya didn't even bother to touch it or look it over anymore that one year she was still here. I'm sure she's left it behind, forgotten."

"But where is it Chief? You wouldn't happen to know would you?" Phoenix raised the obvious question because doubt still clouded his mind. Maya wasn't stupid; Phoenix wouldn't just fall for some stupid girl with a pretty face.

Maya was a clever and cunning girl, if not a bit bizarre. She wouldn't leave behind something so obvious for him to just pick up and say, "Look! I found a clue!"

No…She'd either take it or hide it if it was obvious.

Unless…One conclusion remained. She _wanted _him to find it. Maya wanted Phoenix to find her diary and read it, to know the pain she'd felt, to let him know why she'd left.

It wasn't much, but answers are answers. To Phoenix, finding this diary was like finding a giant diamond in his hoodie pocket! (Even though at the moment, he was wearing his favourite blue suit, the one that he'd left in closet and ignored for so many years.)

Back to previous question though, Mia crossed her arms and answered, "Somewhere no one would dare search. Otherwise known as…her room."

Phoenix, for not the first time, gaped and stared in disbelief. "Her _room?_" He shouted. "Would she honestly just hide something so important in her _room?" _

Mia put up a hand, signifying that I should calm down and replied bluntly, "She's most likely forgotten about it. Besides, like I said, everyone respects the Master's privacy, including the Elders. They would never search her room."

Phoenix raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Mia. "Even if she's up and left? Disappeared? Gone? They _still _wouldn't search her room?"

Mia looked uncertain for a moment then nodded, gradually bringing her head lower and raising it again. "It's not entirely impossible, but most likely they wouldn't have searched it. They probably would have only let Pearl, as she was the closet acolyte to Maya. Even if the Elder Council _did _decide to search her room, they probably never would have found the diary." Mia covered her mouth with her hand in thought. "Even if they did, don't you think they'd be after her? The diary probably has at least _one _important clue to lead on with."

Phoenix nodded and took a moment to let this sink in before feeling his mouth crack into a wide grin.

"Well, Chief, it seems we have a diary to find."

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><p><strong>Ooh~ Diary hunt! Lessee what Maya has written in the diary next chapter hmm?<strong>


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